Friday, January 30, 2015

Run the Other Way: Yoplait Greek Vanilla Cupcake flavored “Whip”

Do you remember that person who wronged you growing up? Perhaps they bullied you or stole your first boyfriend? Well here is a little special something just for them. If you want to punish somebody then consider feeding them a Yoplait Greek Vanilla Cupcake flavored “Whip”. What’s a whip you ask? Boy, I really should have asked myself that exact question before putting this into my shopping cart.

Yoplait describes a whip as Greek yogurt deliciously whipped into 100 calories. First off, I have a big problem when menu or food items include flattering adjectives. For example, “Tonight’s special is a succulent grilled chicken breast over tenderly roasted potatoes, finished with an exceptionally delicious and decadent red wine sauce.” Oh, is it? Reading that I would highly doubt it, but anyway I digress.

Do I like cupcakes? Sure, particularly the frosting flavor. Looking at the packaging, I was excited. Even after opening this up, I wasn’t concerned, but the second I stuck my spoon into this stuff I was terrified. Back in the early 1990’s, Nickelodeon started producing floam, which was a grainy molding compound for children to play with. It was a great time and I loved to get my hands on that stuff when I was younger. My hands, but not my mouth.

For the sake of reviewing, I steeled myself and took the first jiggly bite. The texture nearly unbearable, I was hit with the taste of fake sweetener and chemicals. Unfortunately I am unable to elaborate beyond this, because that’s really all there is to this yogurt. Buyer beware because this stuff is awful. Seriously, at least have fun with it and instead eat floam. 

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